My journey of motherhood| Tips for mothers with ASD children

 

My Journey of Motherhood:

To date, I remember how I was rushed to the hospital as I was feeling uneasy and could not feel any movement inside the womb. I got hospitalized in an emergency and tests were conducted. I was on a regular checkup by the doctors every hour and after some time I was advised not to eat or drink after this hour. I was too dumb to understand the situation.

In the morning, when I woke up the doctor who was handling my case came to check me and bombarded me when I mentioned that I drank a glass of water. His anger had no limits and he scolded the staff for not supervising me properly. In a fraction of a second, a decision was made. I was prepared for my c-section. But I was not mentally prepared for it, I started making lame excuses but to no avail.

At last, I was taken in the OT and the process started. I was only able to hear the idle banter of doctors and nurses inside. After some time I heard the first cry of my child and I forgot all my pains. The doctor brought forward my child and showed me her face. I felt super lucky.

My child was handed over to the family and I was shifted to the main ICU for proper care. After a few hours when I gained my senses, I could feel my child lying next to me. I was happy to have my first child but was unhappy at God's decision that she was suffering from ASD. By the time all members were informed they started visiting as per their timings.

Everyone welcomed the first child of the house with joy and distributed sweets. Everyone blessed the child and wished her good health. My first hurdle started when I was asked to feed. I was not able to turn or take a position to feed. My breast pained when nurses helped me to suck out milk. My baby was crying for milk and I was not able to feed. But after my consistent efforts, I could feed my child. It was a beautiful experience that every mother relished.

On that day I took a vow that I would breastfeed my child as long as I could because somewhere I read mother's feed is the best medicine for infants. Everyone who pops up to meet the newly born or the mother hardly gives any advice because they feel you are mature enough to take care of. For me, it was a new life where I had to keep my spirit high and take care of my child. Doctors gave me a positive reassurance that the hole may get closed on its own with time.

On the hospital bed, I was mostly seen feeding my baby. At that time also it never struck me why other kids were fed by mothers after two hours and I was feeding my kid every half an hour. My negligence caused me in big trouble later. After five days, I was sent home. I was in my fantasy that everyone was on my service and would take care of me. Yes, everyone took good care of me. I was served food and all the necessary items in my bed. 

But all my fantasy ended in a mere 15 days when I was brought back to reality that you need to be back to work; cook food, wash clothes and take care of your child. I never feared challenges but your body should support you. My body didn't support me as I felt drained out after every feed and my baby longed to be with me and as soon as I lay her down on bed, she used to wake up. 

At that time I realised that one has to take his/ her responsibility and no one cares how much pain you suffer. They only need their work done with perfection else there is a long list of comparisons.

Have we not fed our children?

Every woman faces the same issues.

We did it with perfection so why can't you?

But in all this chaos, your close ones forget that every pregnancy is different and so is motherhood. Every mother has her unique experience. Instead of support, I was so mentally harassed that I ignored my health and started doing my responsibilities.

Time passed by and I was informed by the doctor that the hole instead of reducing is always found increasing. My little bit of mental peace that was left all started to shatter. Everyone showed their support from far away but none had the guts to stand next to you when you were in pain. It made me completely stubborn and I treated all the relatives with little due respect on their arrival and not exaggerating with plenty of gifts. I became practical.

My sleepless nights, waking up every half an hour to feed and doing endless household chores by handing over my kid to another family member for some time became life whenever I remember those days. I left breastfeeding my kid after one and a half years. My kid was mature enough to accept it but she left drinking milk thereafter. To date, it's hard for me to make her drink milk in vain. In case I tried to use any trick, she vomited out all that she took along with whatever was in her stomach. Thereafter I left trying also.

I made a lot of mistakes and learnt a lesson later in life and by that time it was too late. But now when my child had her heart surgery last year, I took a sigh of relief that now my child is fine. I want to share some of my tips that every mother should follow.

Tips for mothers who have children with ASD:

1. Breastfeeding 

Breast milk is best for kids but the child doesn't need to suck it directly. Mothers can notice that during sucking milk child has to put up a lot of effort and tyres up soon. So instead of each time making them suck milk, suck your milk out in a sterile container and serve the baby with either spoon or bottle. Breast milk is unaltered till six hours after it's sucked out at normal temperature.

Eg. If you take out your milk at 6 a.m. then you can feed your child by noon.

2. Hygiene

It is essential to keep your baby in the best hygiene as they are readily prone to infection. Try your best to protect your child from chest infection and don't take your baby out in changing weather. A sudden change in weather from cold to warm or vice-versa can cause big trouble.

3. Understand the little signal of your child

As a mother, it is very difficult to cope with postpartum depression and stand firmly or even understand your child especially when you are a first-time mother. No proper guidance or support can cause blunders. To save yourself from these, seek medical advice and try to remain calm. If you are calm then only you will be able to find out what your child wants to convey. Every child is unique so is his/her method to convey. Keep an eye and soon with time, you will acknowledge the difference. Help yourself, help your child.

4. Proper diet

Doctors advise you to breastfeed your child for 6 months strictly and no other food/water. After six months you can try giving them liquid or water but be cautious and try only one thing at a time. Check all the symptoms and then move to the next food item.

5. Be strong

For a newborn baby, his/her mother is only the first link or relation that he/she can rely upon. So for your baby, you need to forget everything and stand firm for your child with a smile. 

Conclusion

Motherhood is a beautiful experience for all mothers. Mothers need moral support and a simple push positively and they can do anything for their kids. Whether you give birth by a normal delivery or c-section the family should understand that it's her new life. Mother also needs rest for at least 40 days before assuming to work. Whatever we do frames our child's behaviour so stay positive, be practical and stop expecting from anyone. 

This blog post is part of the blog challenge ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’ hosted by Cindy D’Silva and Noor Anand Chawla in collaboration with Mads' Cookhouse.

This post is a part of HER Journey Blog Hop hosted by Manali Desai and Sukaina Majeed . 

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