Book review:
"Shame needs three things to grow exponential ly in our lives: secrecy, silence and judgement. "
Shame regarding anything creates or sustains in one's mind for long. Every person faces a traumatic phase in his or her life in any part of his life irrespective of gender. There are so many domains and merely few are treated with the help of a therapist. Even I was startled by the topic Unashamed when I first read it. But being a strong lover of non fiction books I wanted to give it a try.
I was literally intrigued by the topic and wanted to explore it. As the word says, it slowly unfurls the layers of shame that start dominating our personality without even letting us know. In this book, Neha discusses about the fear of shame that she is treating as a phychotherapist in the last decade or more of her experience.
In this patriarch society, men and women are guided in their young age about their boundaries and how to deal with issues related to your sexuality. Most of the times, girls or women are suppressed of their emotional support or needs related to it when they are abused, traumatized and much more. Does it makes you remind of one thing? " Time is the best healer". Yes, it is. But answer my question, how do you feel if any related incident of your past becomes vivid infront of your eyes?
Do you freeze? Or Are you ok with it? This answer may vary from person to person. In this book, I found the basic meaning of a therapy and how she makes a difference in people's life. People suffer from their own trauma but could bot identify it for long. When this pain of trauma starts haunting, they are guided by a therapist. One may find the correct therapist at one go or take time as per their comfort level of trust.
This book is divided in four parts:
🍀Prepare
🍀Listen
🍀Deepen
🍀Heal
Neha has shared few but heart wrenching episodes from her experience that may relate to varied readers. She tries to pour light on sensitive issues that are left untouched by many of us. But the matter becomes a parasite after many years and harm our peace of mind. These episodes makes the reader think or feel how they are effected by these episodes or it hardly makes any difference.
This book is not limited to women but it shares a varied experience from women, children, aged, queer, men or couples. As everyone gets affected by trauma of any kind once in their life, so it needs to be mended and not suppressed. Neha guides that one should be open to his/her sexual needs and accept them openly.
Any person is taught at a young age few norms of etiquette but with the passage of time, few norms need to be reformed and changed as per the requirement. So the rules that were valid fir a person at the age of 7 cannot be same for the age of 40. So accept your needs and try to empathize yourself.
The best part of this book is the practice questions that are added at the end of each chapter. This helps the reader to summarize what are the takeaways from that particular episode.
Ways to heal "Shame":
💕Expect to 'sit with' your feelings for a long time.
💕Keep a small journal next to you.
💕Share your feelings or reflections with a friend or a trusted person.
💕Pen down on a journal or a diary what is troubling you.
💕 Writing drags out inner most fears and helps to recover.
Overall, This book could also be used as an act of self-permission, allowing yourself the much needed recourse to help alleviate shame, silence and self-judgement around sexual health that has been part of our Indian sexual conditioning. Highly recommended!
This review is powered by Blogchatter Book Review Program ".
This blog post is part of the blog challenge ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’
hosted by Cindy D’Silva and Noor Anand Chawla
in collaboration with Dr. Preeti Chauhan.
Purchase: Unashamed
#TBRChallenge #Bookchatter @HarperCollinsIN #Bookishlife2022_#nonfiction #reader #bookreviews
The book is a must-read for people seeking reliable answers to their questions about sex and sexuality. The book will also prove beneficial for youngsters trying to gain a better understanding of the topic. It is also a good book for people who want to enjoy a more fulfilling and satisfying life while trying to understand their sexual desires and preferences. To read my entire opinion about this book you can visit here: https://www.indiacafe24.com/book-reviews/book-review-of-unashamed-by-neha-bhat/
ReplyDeleteThis sounds like a book that would help all of us. Facing our fears and feelings is important and the book gives us a way to get out of the tough parts.
ReplyDeleteWow..what a unique topic for a book. It seems like a self-healing book from your review. I like the way you have given bullets and listed out what the book entails..
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I like the topic cuz I have not come across any book on shame. Ofcourse there have been about fears in general but this specific no. I am sure it will help many people, men and women alike. I am interested cuz I want to understand if it's shame related to our sexuality only or in general.
ReplyDeleteShame! Great topic to discuss though it requires immense courage to bring it out to the open world, because as you rightly put it, we are "conditioned" to hide shame rather than embrace and talk about it. The book seems intriguing. Am not a great fan of non-fiction. But I think I will add it to my TBR for the future.
ReplyDeleteShame is a difficult topic to discuss, and that someone found the courage to expose her feelings and write a book about it deserves immense praise. This book goes into my TBR for future reading even though I'm not a great fan of non-fiction
ReplyDeleteVery few writers touch on a sensitive subject like shame. This book looks perfect to address the issue with self-help tips. Shall check out.
ReplyDeleteGuess this book needs to be a part of syllabus ! So many of us go through life with shame of different varieties. I like the way you have listed out why this book is important
ReplyDeleteSounds like a helpful and necessary read for those who have not yet been able to heal, let go of, or cope with their past. I love the props you've used with this book and your FI for this review post; the colour pink and the soft toys with it kind of give a comforting feel, like the teddy is hugging you and saying it's okay; which kind of also goes with the theme of the book I guess
ReplyDeleteComing from a psychotherapist with years of experience this book certainly will be a great read to understand shame; something basic but hardly addressed. I'm glad she has added stories about women, children as well as queers to make it an authentic and relatable read for everyone.
ReplyDeleteI really want to read this book. Would love to know the insights from the psychotherapist point of view.
ReplyDeleteHmm...finding this topic interesting. I've never read or gave much thought about shame and am now realising how much important it is to talk about it and let people talk about it. it's great that nowadays, we are getting more and more open to this kind of situations which had been such a taboo for a long time. - MommyWithAGoal
ReplyDeleteA very unusual topic and subject. Sounds like an interesting read for those who need to get this demon out of their lives.
ReplyDeleteThis book sounds so promising and amazing . I would love to give it a try . Thanks for the review
ReplyDeleteYour review of "Unashamed" by Neha Bhat is both insightful and powerful. It’s amazing how the book addresses such a sensitive and often overlooked topic with depth and empathy. The practical advice on dealing with shame is particularly valuable.
ReplyDeleteWow, this book really needed to those who haven't heal yet. I would like to read this book. I like the way you use bullet points and give perfect review of the book. Thank you dear for sharing.
ReplyDeleteInteresting review and I have bookmarked this to read later.
ReplyDeleteThis looks like an important book. Sometimes people don't approach doctors out of shame and that makes it worse.
ReplyDeleteSexuality and desires is still a very taboo topic in India. We need more books like these so that those confused or suffering have hope that they are not alone. Adding this to my TBR.
ReplyDeleteThe practical tips on healing shame are so helpful. Writing down feelings and sharing with trusted ones can really make a difference.
ReplyDeleteThis is such a difficult emotion and so many people experience it, and there is not enough conversation and openness around it. Books like this need to be in the mainstream to help people begin their journey to heal and hopefully, get more help and resources and tools.
ReplyDeleteWhat an interesting subject. Thanks for the review!
ReplyDeleteNoor